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Douche Guitar

from Songs for Jerks by Joe Versus

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lyrics

Well, I'm takin' a little backpackin' trip
Man, it's gonna be the shit
So many mysterious lands to explore
So many chances for me to be a manwhore

Gonna play a lot of drinking games
Gonna do girls I don't even know their names
Just gotta make sure to book all the right places
If they got an acoustic it's off to the races

Douche guitar
Douchin' it up
(I'm douchin' it up)
Douche guitar
Douchin' it up
(I'm douchin' it up)

There's a D-guitar by the TV there
Missin' a string but I'm so awesome I don't care
Hey beautiful, are you into the Dead?
You will be soon
Don't worry your pretty little head

Maybe Dave Matthews is more your speed
You into the J-man? I also know some Creed
Listen to me, I'm like a Masters' class
Awful Bands and Songs that Suck Total Ass 101

I'll play John Mayer!
I ain't got a care in the world!
In this hostel we'll make unwashed love, girl

Now I know you wanna hear a solo
So here it comes, here comes the solo

(Douche solo)

(Oh, I'm such a douche
All right!)

Douche guitar
Douchin' it up
(I'm douchin' it up)
Douche guitar
Douchin' it up
(I'm douchin' it up)

Well I stride across the land
With my douche guitar in hand
And everybody knows that I'm the man 'cuz
I can play some songs by shitty bands

And also songs by somewhat less shitty bands
But mostly songs by really shitty bands
Do you wanna hear some Sublime?
Of course you wanna hear some Sublime (then I'll make you mine)

Well I stride across the land
With my douche guitar in hand
Steppin' through your bedroom door's threshold
With my confident douchey swagger so boldly

And I can play a Coldplay song or two
But then I'd really appreciate if ya'd do me
'Cuz this axe needs to go back where it rests
I really don't wanna piss off the front desk (ya dig?)

Douche guitar
Douchin' it up
(I'm douchin' it up)
Douche guitar
Douchin' it up
(I'm douchin' it up)

Okay!

Douche guitar by the bar!
Douche guitar by the TV!
And douche guitar by the air conditioner
I'm also awesome at Guitar Hero
I'm also awesome at Guitar Hero

Gonna play Jack Johnson
Gonna play Bob Marley
And only two songs by Oasis
It's not like you've heard of anything except for
Wonderwall and Champagne Supernova

Douche guitar
Douchin' it up
(I'm douchin' it up)
Douche guitar
Douchin' it up

I'm douchin' it up

credits

from Songs for Jerks, released October 22, 2020
Featuring Joe Lennon

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Joe Versus New Jersey

Sad for a long time then made music

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